A Nigerian marriage therapist and father of four, Shamseddin Giwa, has shared advice for women on choosing the right husband. He warned against marrying men who treat simple, everyday needs as luxuries.

His advice came after seeing a video where someone claimed using a washing machine was “wrong,” saying clothes should be hand-washed for blessings to come.

On his Facebook page, Mr. Giwa wrote: “True love isn’t shown by poverty or suffering. Don’t marry a man who calls you extravagant for wanting basic things.”

He added that many young men may think this way. Life is already hard enough, so using any tool or method available to make it easier is wise.

He gave examples to explain his point. Hiring a maid doesn’t mean you can’t teach your children. Using a blender to grind pepper doesn’t reduce its taste or quality. Frozen food is helpful when you have a busy schedule. Washing machines are now basic necessities, not luxuries.

Marriage today doesn’t require doing everything the hard way. Skills like cooking from scratch, pounding ingredients manually, or sweeping large areas aren’t the most important anymore.

Today, qualities like intelligence, leadership, goal-setting, financial stability, and versatility are more valuable in marriage. These traits also make life simpler and happier.

Why struggle doing everything manually—cooking, cleaning, washing—when there are easier ways to manage tasks? Doing everything the hard way isn’t smart, and it’s often not cheaper either. Choosing easier methods doesn’t make anyone lazy, irresponsible, or less of a wife.

Many mothers in the past also had help—maids, relatives, or family members. They embraced help when they could, and it made life easier and happier.

Of course, some tools or help require money. If you don’t have the funds, it’s fine to stick to traditional methods while working toward better options. The key is to be smart and practical, not to suffer unnecessarily. True “super wives” use intelligence, not struggle, to succeed in life and marriage.