A Nigerian marriage therapist, Shamsudden Giwa, recently shared his thoughts on how s3xual problems are handled in Nigerian marriages. According to him, when there is a lack of s3x or s3xual compatibility in marriage, men are often encouraged by society to seek out other women as a solution.

On the other hand, women in the same situation are usually advised to stay calm, pray, and focus on taking care of the children. This shows a clear difference in how men and women are treated when facing the same issue.

Giwa’s message sheds light on the unequal expectations placed on husbands and wives. It also raises questions about how such advice affects the health of marriages and the emotional well-being of both partners.

It’s important for couples to seek fair and respectful solutions when dealing with s3xual challenges, rather than relying on outdated gender roles.

“Whenever there’s a s3xual deficit in the marriage, the men in our community are encouraged to look to other women as a solution but ask same people what a woman should do if she’s the one whose sexual needs have not been met. Suddenly you hear “be patient”, “pray more”, “focus on your children”, “take your mind away from it’” he wrote. 

“The hypocrisy appears.

“In truth, s3xual balance in marriage is a lot of work and needs the deliberate efforts of both parties. The solution lies in healthy perseverance and compromise of both parties as they work to improve and create a midpoint that can be sustained.

“If the solution to every marital challenge is jumping ship, no marriage will survive.”