A Nigerian journalist, Zahra Abubakar, has shared advice for women who are planning to join polygamous families. She told them not to believe that they are the “special ones” meant to save men from their first wives, who may be difficult.

According to her, this mindset can lead to unnecessary expectations and disappointments. Zahra encourages women to enter these relationships with the understanding that every marriage has its own challenges, and they should not expect to be the solution to existing issues.

“Many second wives are shocked to discover that, contrary to what they were led to believe, the first wife is not a problem at all, in fact, she often turns out to be a strong and positive presence in the marriage,” she wrote in a Facebook post on Tuesday.

“Feelings of inferiority can quickly spark insecurity, leading to a sense of competition where none should exist.

“If you choose to enter a polygamous marriage, do so because you genuinely desire it, not because you think you’re the “special one” sent to rescue the husband from a difficult first wife. The husband knows exactly what he’s doing.”