A Nigerian lawyer, Alright Osajie Eigbe, has shared why he takes on divorce cases even though he is also a pastor.
In a Facebook post on Monday, March 17, Eigbe said that while some marriages can be saved through professional counseling, others are too toxic to continue.
He explained that in some cases, judicial separation is not enough, and ending the marriage is the best option. According to him, people should not remain in harmful relationships just because of societal or religious pressure.
Eigbe’s statement highlights the importance of making the right decision when a marriage becomes unhealthy. While reconciliation is possible for some couples, others may need to part ways for their well-being.
Read his post below:
WHY I DO DIVORCE CASES ALTHOUGH I AM ALSO A PASTOR.
I have had people ask me again and again why I do divorce.
(If only they understood that divorce is but an aspect of family law and some divorce cases are actually physical and spiritual deliverances).
To them, I shouldn’t be lawyer doing divorce cases.
I understand them and I know why:
1. I am a Pastor’s kid
2. I was born and raised in S.U.
3. I am also a Pastor
4. I am pro-marriage and family too, and I have an organization that pursues that cause.
5. I am a Counselling Psychologist (Marriage and Family Life Counselling) who is always advocating for marriage.
I understand their confusion. It’s valid.
However, I understand two core things:
1. Beyond judicial separation, some marriages need to end.
2. If we agree that some couples need to be separated and some marriages should end, then I help such couples have a less traumatic judicial separation or divorce.
I have observed that no matter how much we try, people will still experience some sort of trauma from a failed marriage.
They were already going through it before they called our phone for the divorce. So we are not the cause of their trauma.
I doubt we can completely eliminate trauma from divorce. This is why I usually laugh when some folks make it appear as though divorce is just a stroll in a UN heritage park.
Divorce is far more than what you see in the movies.
Usually, based on this “inherent” trauma in toxic marriages, we always try to see how we can make the experience and after-impact of divorce less traumatic for the couple and the kids involved.
So, the counsel we give people includes:
1. Before you divorce, seek professional counselling.
Many marriages in Family court would not have any business there if they prioritised counselling.
Not just that, for those who think they need a divorce, counselling will still help them prepare for it.
2. While undergoing a divorce, seek professional counselling.
No matter how much your lawyers try, some divorces will be messy and dirty because of the attitude of the other party.
Trust me, your mental health and wellness will be scratched even if both parties agree to the divorce.
3. Once the divorce or judicial separation is completed, immediately sign up for therapy. I didn’t say counselling but therapy.
(The last option is a counsel I give couples, their kids, their extended family members and friends as divorce affects a lot of people and not just the couple).
Family and Divorce Lawyers are not the people putting asunder in marriages.
We are simply funeral home officials for a marriage that the couple have killed.
Once again, go work on your marriage. If your counsellor, family and religious leaders have hope in the marriage, believe with them.
Unless your partner is like the dude in Jesus’ teaching on how to treat a brother who wrongs you, don’t seek divorce yet.
Divorce is very traumatic and should only be applied as a necessary evil.
